The World Cup is a little more than a week away, and I am one of the few Americans that actually gives a shit.
The Americans shamed their country and failed to qualify for the only event keeping soccer relevant in the US.
Because of this, the most athletic country in the world has no excitement for the greatest tournament in the world.
Last week we created a post on concept US soccer jerseys, but we wanted to show some love for the countries that actually made it into the World Cup.
We had a look at all of the teams and the kits they will be sporting in the tournament. We then ranked all of these jerseys from 32 all the way down to 1.
While this is obviously a post that requires pictures to reference our rankings, we could not find any images of Iran’s kits. We found a few sites that referenced their reveal, but all contradicted each other. Those that we did see were all incredibly boring, plain Adidas jerseys, so even if they were the actual kits, they would still be towards the bottom of the list.
In our eyes, Adidas failed to hit the mark with most of their jerseys. Most of Adidas’ World Cup jerseys fail to show any sort of flair and instead put too much emphasis on their own brand. The iconic three stripes are the most noticeable feature in almost all of their kits, and Egypt’s jersey is a perfect example.
When I think of New Balance, I think of a middle-aged white man in jean shorts manning a grill. It is hard for me to envision them as an athletic brand, and their soccer shoes and apparel is pretty bland. Costa Rica’s jersey’s show minimal creativity and are far from our favorites.
Again, New Balance just not cutting it for us.
Another excruciatingly dull set of jerseys from Adidas. There is just not enough to them.
Having hung of my soccer boots over five years ago, I am a little out of touch when it comes to which brands are still relevant. I had no idea Hummel was still making products, but it is good to see them still chugging along.
Denmark’s jerseys are pretty plain, but I don’t hate them. Hummel found a way to make the subtleness work for the most part.
If there is one thing everyone knows about Tunisia, it’s that no one knows a fucking thing about Tunisia. Tunisia is one of the few surprises to make the final 32, and they will do so in Uhlsport uniforms. I am actually rather fond of their red kits, but their white ones lack creativity.
To be completely honest, Germany’s kits are one of my favorites, but I couldn’t put them any higher on my list. Germany has a rather unmistakable flag. Nowhere in that flag is the color greenish-blue, so I really cannot understand why their home kit would be made entirely of that color.
I did very minimal research and couldn’t seem to find an answer. I am sure there is one, but I don’t care. That jersey would still look great in the red color on their flag.
I was hoping to show some love to the Concacaf, but all of their jerseys are boring as hell. Like many others on this list, Mexico always tends to stick with a relatively similar design from year to year – which is fine if your designs are exciting.
The only Umbro kits in the field, Peru’s jerseys are pretty nice. Red and gold can be a hard combination to make work in the athletic world, but Peru’s jersey designs make it work.
Columbia’s jerseys were ones in which we all shared different opinions. The yellow ones look a bit outdated, but we all liked the blue. The only thing we weren’t sure on was why they chose to use orange instead of yellow or red.
Puma loves skin-tight jerseys.
Once again, Adidas misses the mark. Like the others, Spain’s jerseys just seem outdated, but we don’t hate them.
Russia is a lawless wasteland. The one thing deemed more execution-worthy than speaking negatively about Commander Vlad is wearing apparel not made by Adidas… Love the away jersey, hate the home jersey.
Belgium’s yellow jerseys, while plain, still seem to present a more modern feel. The red ones tried to make the argyle work but failed.
Once again, Nike makes little look great.
Uruguay’s home jersey is relatively plain, but the subtle Sun in the center makes it worthy of a higher ranking.
Nike has a way of making the plain look good. England’s kits have always kept a traditional look, but the large patch and rounded neck make it work. There are also some pretty cool case studies by British-born designer Craig Ward on how we created the typeface that will be used for numbers and letters.
Iceland captured the world’s heart a few years back at the Euros, and I am pulling for them at this year’s tourney.
Errea is a little-known Italian athletic supplier, but they did a stellar job creating unique kits for the Icelandic squad.
Portugal’s away jersey (white) is one of my favorite individual jersey in the field. Their home jersey is a bit plain but still portray a more modern feel.
Having played and lived with several Serbs in my college days, I am terrified of the country as a whole – so ranking them any lower was not an option.
With that said, I do like the style but hate the skin-tight make.
Not a huge fan of Sweden’s yellow jersey, but their blue one makes up for it.
Of course, Puma had to get at least one tight jersey in there. We love the imprinted lion graphic on both the home and away jerseys.
Japan’s kits are great. Adidas finally gave a modern design to a team. We love the line placement on both the home and away jerseys.
We absolutely love Australia’s yellow kit. We only wish they would have added a little extra flare to their green jersey.
Poland is one of the few countries to have the same design for both their home and away jerseys. Luckily, Nike did a great job creating the design. The two-tones help bring the jerseys to life.
Korea’s away jersey (white) is downright sexy. I am not sure how the scattered (yet organized) lines came about, but it looks fantastic.
Brazil’s iconic Yellow and Green home jersey is arguably the most recognizable shirt in all of sports. Like usual, they kept the traditional style for their home kits, but their away jersey offers a fantastic polygon-style imprint that takes away from the blank space.
I have always loved Argentina’s blue and white jersey. That is my favorite soccer jersey of all time, so I forced it this high onto the list. Their away jersey shows Adidas’ lack of creativity when it comes to soccer styling. They are literally the exact same thing as Colombia – who is also one of their biggest rivals – except with different colors.
The checkered-look is one that could easily go terribly wrong, yet Nike continues to make it work for Croatia. The visible stitching in between each block adds some extra pizzaz to an already unique jersey.
France’s jerseys are absolutely stunning. Their away (white) have an amazingly unique look with the subtle lines of color through the shirt. Their home jersey has a beautifully displayed two-tone gradient on the sleeves that make an otherwise dull design pop.
Nigeria is no stranger to the World Cup stage, but very rarely do they stand out. Nike made sure they took the field in style with some of the most unique kits in football history. The crazily-striped jerseys have been selling like crazy and are sure to be an eye-sore to sum, but we love them.
With that said, it looks like they ran out of design budget for their other kit as it is about as plain as can be.
Be a lot cooler if ya did
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